I always feel very anxious over Christmas time, any recommendations on how to get through it all without being a nervous wreck?
Anon, Whenuapai.
Anxiety is very common. Add in pressure to attend multiple events, cook, host, buy presents, all whilst coping with the ever-increasing cost of living? Relentless.
It's a stressful time. All wrapped up with feelings of guilt for not enjoying it as we are supposed to, it can leave many loathing the holidays. For those with children, the seemingly endless school holidays add another layer of pressure.
Firstly, it is important to realise you are not alone. As humans we are built to feel anxious as a natural response to threatening situations. The adrenaline rush dilates our pupils, increases our heart rate, and puts our digestion on pause so we are ready to fight or flight. Sometimes less threatening situations trigger this response and we feel just as intensely when we aren't actually going to be physically harmed in the same way (although it feels a lot like it we are when dealing with tantruming children!).
Social media, news and endless information at our fingertips triggers us to think more about issues we never used to. We are constantly bombarded so sometimes don't obtain the respite we need to switch off, so this must be done intentionally. This means forcing ourselves to stop. Really stop.
Mindfulness and meditation are one of the ways we can achieve this. Thinking about our breath and body in real time helps ground our thinking and reminds us to be in the present. Taking even 1 or 2 minutes a day to do this can be so powerful. You can even do it whilst going for a walk. A great alternative is guided mediation or Hatha yoga, where yoga is combined with meditation (Google these and you will discover a raft of excellent free resources). These practices settle the mind, helping the clouds to clear and reminds us that just as aeroplanes escape clouds as they ascend, so can we. Even when it is raining, the blue sky is always there.
Another great technique is writing down what triggers your anxiety. Be specific and really think about where it comes from, then write what would actually happen if the worst-case scenario played out. Then write how it makes you feel. Finally, write an affirmation of a positive way you can respond to the trigger. Something along the lines of "I am strong" or “I can…” to re-programme the mind to switch automatic negative thoughts into automatic positive ones. Doing this and re-reading your affirmations can really help you believe in your strength and power. Because we all have these qualities, we just need to realise them.
Anxiety is best faced head on. That may feel scary, but just as a shadow monster grows in the eery darkness, it disappears once the light is switched on. You too, can switch the light on. If that still feels overwhelming, talking to you GP will help as there are pharmacological and professional services available if you need them.
And finally, be kind to yourself. This is a busy time; however it can be wonderful if we pace ourselves and keep our boundaries. Say no to things that don't serve you, if it's not a "heck yes!", it's a no. A polite one of course.